I’m going to have to download an app to use my zippers, aren’t I?

De Beers did it with diamond engagement rings as well.

It’s when you pee in someone’s mouth during a blowie.

I’ve always been afraid of being killed by a drunk driver, or dying while at work. Now both of those things can happen at the same time.

It’s the worst day to be on the internet.

I don’t doubt it, so I’m drinking my fill while I can.

A slideshow would be great when my hands are full of toys

All I use reddit for is porn now, so the ads are really easy to spot. Like if I see someone trying to show me tupperware when I was just looking at goth girls and femboys, I know to keep scrolling.

They could have just worked for the prison system, then they’d get a regular paycheck to enforce slavery.